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Writing

Gawker

“Limbaugh: Buh-Buh-Buh-Bond Isn’t Buh-Buh-Buh-Black”
“What Color Is This Goddamn Dress?”
“Who Is Robert Durst? What To Know If You’re Not Watching The Jinx
“I Can’t Stop Watching These Parade Balloon Accident Videos”
“New York Man Ticketed for Driving in Carpool Lane with Wooden Friend”
“Obama Thinks You Kids Need to Cool It with the Weed Legalization Stuff”
“Nativist Idiots Mistake Latin for Spanish, Totally Lose Their Shit”
“Jimmy Kimmel Says It Took Two Surgeries to Fix His Messed Up Dick”
“Mars Mission Chooses 100 People Best Suited to Dying on Another Planet”

Paste Magazine

“Bill Murray Took Tickets at a Ball Game Last Night Because That’s Just What He Does Now”
Paste Magazine‘s 2014 Gift Guide for Comedy Lovers”
“The 10 Greatest Weird Al Videos”
“Self-Proclaimed ‘Prophet of the End Times’ Says Danny DeVito Represents the Antichrist”
“9 Easily Missed References from the New Venture Bros. Special”

Portland Pulp

“Salem Police Arrest Dog After Brazen Daylight Pizza Theft”
“Beth Ditto Arrested in Portland for Actually Pretty Typical Shoeless Obama Rant”
“Oregon School Bans Voodoo Donuts After Cock Talk Shock”

McSweeney’s

“Has Bell Invented a ‘Telegraph Killer’?”
“Court Cases with Which I am Familiar”

Dorkly

“11 Terrible Videogames Worth More Than Your First Car”
“The 8 Most Bizarre Celebrity Videogame Pitchmen”

The Morning News

“I Cannot Accept This Award”

HudsonHongo.com

“Lines from Half-Baked that Aren’t Jokes as New Yorker Cartoons”
“5 Celebrities You Didn’t Know Were Secretly a Writhing Mass of Spiders”
“Ziggy Minus Ziggy”
“Civil War Soldiers with Cotton Candy Beards”